Image of female friends meeting in a cafe. Two young women in a restaurant talking and smiling.

“I’m dangerous from the neck up and the knee down!” is the self-deprecating remark I make about myself in what I perceive to be a humorous comment. But here’s the truth; I still have a pretty face, and my lower legs are shapely, but in-between, I’m, well, round!

In a discussion with friends not too long ago, we had quite a lively chat about self-fulfilling prophecies.  I had a huge “aha” moment when I realized that I was just living up to the way I talked about myself.  Whether it was a humorous statement or not, the repetition sunk into my brain, and ta-da! That’s what I am!

It occurred to me that we all have preconceived notions about ourselves.  We all make unaware statements that re-inforce either positive or negative beliefs.  What are you saying about yourself that creates a negative influence in your life? Most of us have an ongoing mental conversation. Often it is tainted with guilt about our past or anxiety about our future. This negativity can destroy any seed of hope that we may otherwise have in striving for our dreams.

Your self-talk will:

  1. Influence your perceptions
  2. Define for you what is good, bad, true, real and possible
  3. Skew your perspective in positive or negative ways
  4. Direct and/or limit the actions you take
  5. Shape your character
  6. Affect your relationships
  7. Establish a specific course you will follow
  8. Determine your health
  9. Harness or hijack your passion
  10. Lower or raise your level of happiness

Woman smiling with perfect smile and white teeth in a park and looking at camera

Just as a negative self-chat can send you on a downward spiral, so can positive self-chat lift you up.  The trick is in recognizing the messages you are giving yourself and then nipping them in the bud.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Which mental phrases keep you in fear?
  • What messages keep you from taking action?
  • What stops you from gaining success?
  • What stops you from taking pleasure in life?
  • What makes you feel powerful?
  • What messages help you?
  • What message serves your cause?
  • What aids you in expressing yourself?
  • What leads you to happiness?

Once you have analyzed your own self-talk; start to eliminate the negative messages you feed yourself, then replace that statement with one that empowers you!

It is not going to happen overnight. If your mind has ingrained habits of thinking negatively, it will take some work and time. However, if you find yourself struggling and unable to achieve your goals and talking yourself down, then just grit your teeth and commit to the process of change.

Here’s to living a life without restraints, judgements, fears, and limits!!

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